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| Sir Malik Jimah in 1974 |
Guest of the Week is Sir Malik Jimah, the Ediöma (Oldest Man Alive) in Utsogun Village of Auchi Sacred Kingdom
Preamble:
Sir Malik Jimah of Utsogun Heritage Zone is from Afaidokhai. In view of the need to peep into the life of the yesteryears in contrast with our current reality, Enaholo J.K. went on a quest to find out who the Edioma (Eldest man alive) of Utsogun Heritage Zone is and have a conversation with him.
After a stream of calls, questions and movement from comfort zone to and from trusted sources, Enaholo was able to reach out to Sir Malik who is a Triple Edioma from his family (the Oshiobugie family) to his quarter (Afaidokhai) up to Utsogun (his heritage zone).
It was an interesting time with him and his first wife (Sadiatu). The lively couple was receptive and unreserved in letting us into their world.
In his prime, Sir Malik Jimah was a farmer at Ogua’oghodo and a security officer in the employ of Auchi Polytechnic. He is married to two women (1st wife Sadiatu, 2nd wife Aishetu). He had a total of 19 children (13 through Sadiatu and 6 through Aishetu). Of all, 13 children survived.
He is (according to him) the only surviving member of Uma-Okhabamha Age Group of 1948 who were initiated into manhood according to traditional rites some 74 years ago. Even though his actual age is unknown (owing to lack of documentation) an educated guess pegs his age at 94 and above. This we fathomed by adding 20 years to 74 because in those days, those to be initiated into manhood were relatively more matured than what we currently experience. The ages of Uso-igbama ranged between 20 to 23.
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The Discourse:
The crux of our conversation was around and about what the life of yesteryears felt like.
“the kind of life we lived in those days can never be lived again!” he exclaimed in disappointment. He was emphatic in his submission and what’s more is that his voice was laced with fear.
He expressed disaffection at the way and manner people live their lives without purpose to the detriment of society.
“life was easy. Our time was the best when compared to what is happening today.” He told Enaholo whilst shaking his head in disapproval.
Marriage:
“I met my wife in the course of my initiation into manhood. As soon as we met and I expressed my intentions, our families were brought into the picture and the process was easy. Nobody overburdened my family or me with demands such as we experience these days. The ceremony was attended by people who genuinely wished us well _not today where you see a mammoth crowd in a wedding reception who do not even know the names of those getting married nor are there truly there because of the nuptial union.
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| Malik Jimah and his wives Saiatu and Aishetu |
We got married in a matter of days from when we met at my manhood initiation ceremony and today, 74 years on, she is still here with me. What we see today is a situation where young boys and girls cohabit for years before getting married (that’s is they ever do). They put up flamboyant wedding ceremonies that consume so much money. The 'asoebis' and so on are so expensive and as soon as the marriage ceremony is concluded and the funfair cools off, it’s only a matter of days before the marriage is dissolved.”
“love is never enough.” The 1st wife interjected.
"these days you see men and women, boys and girls shouting 'I love you, I love you' without truly meaning it. Sooner than later, they realize that love isn't always enough and when they realize this fact it oftentimes becomes late." she concluded.
Enaholo curiously asked, "what then is enough to drive a successful marriage such as yours that is over 70 years old?"
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| Mama Sadiatu (Malik's 1st wife) With Enaholo J.K. |
"Patience and understanding!" she exclaimed. "even the learned mallams who taught us the wordings of the Qur'an told us that God is always pleased with those that are patient as the patient person is God's friend." she said.
"back in the days, there were no perfect couples. No. I'm not saying we were perfect. We had our fights every now and then because we came from different backgrounds and all but our parents taught us to be patient with each other despite our differences. First they advised us to understand our spouses, know their peculiarities and tone down our (often very high) expectations. As the marriage matured, it became clear why understanding and patience was key because not too long, that feeling of love that once engulfed us seemed to be wearing off as a result of responsibilities and other worldly demands. As soon as the rosy fragrance of love fizzled away, it was easy to keep pushing on because by then we were already well acquainted with ourselves through understanding, appreciation and patience." she said.
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Child Raising:
"This was a communal task. everyone was responsible for grooming the child(ren). Everyone had a justifiable reason to correct you, send you on an errand, call you to order, spank you when you err and so on. It was just like that. As a child you won't even dare to exhibit a questionable character in the presence of people because somehow, the news gets to your father, your uncles and soon everyone in the extended family hears about your misdeeds. When this happened, you'll be severely dealt with.
Every family, quarter or village had a tradition of ensuring that its members behaved in accordance to acceptable norms of society.
If it were to be back then, the younger ones would come around me all the time to seek out some life tips and hacks to survival. They'd sit around me listening to stories from the golden era. Sadly, today, so many old people are dying away with good knowledge of things they'd have taught. Young people don't come around aged ones anymore. They assume all sorts of things I don't want to talk about and that's just sad.
Growing up, we were taught to be respectful, obedient, accommodating and hospitable. The virtues of hardwork were often demonstrated by those we looked up to. Even though I did not go to school, I learnt about the good therein working hard to earn my own money, food and I was contented. When you are contented, you're always at peace but when you compare yourself to those who have more, you'd want to compete and this, as I've come to see, is a burden most people carry about these days.
Parents don't teach contentment anymore. They compare their Children to those from well to do families and this puts the child through too much pressure to the point that they begin to explore all avenues (including dubious ones) to make money because there's so much emphasis on making money as the accumulation of this is what we now call wealth." Sir Malik Jimah explained with zest.
"What's worse is that, these days, nobody cares about how someone else's child turns out. When you take the initiative to correct a child who has committed an error, the parents become troublesome and may go to the extent of calling the Police on you.
What we forget is that once these children grow up, whatever they become, good or bad, the society enjoys from the good or suffers adversely from their evil deed." He posited.
Community Service:
Community service was a selfless gesture those days. Youths were organized according to Age grades for certain tasks in our community. We repaired roads, picked dirt, cleared the streets, helped age mates raise their houses, joined in helping people to clear, plant and harvest, we did all we did without expecting any form of pay. To crown it all, back in the days, those were the kind of activities that made our days. It was fun to work side by side my mates and it was a pleasure to work on tasks together with those who were older. We were bonded by these works for communal sake and through these, we knew ourselves better and learned to love each other.
That's why it was easy to settle squabbles and other misunderstandings. Today, because we don't know ourselves that much, at the slightest provocation, we resort to arresting each other. Do you know that it was against the laws of Auchi for an Auchi son to arrest his relative? What do we have today? Like I said before, we can't have the life of the past ever again." Pa Malik concluded painfully.
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| Sir Malik as a Security Guard at Auchi Polytechnic in the 70s |
To draw the curtain on our long and exciting company, Sir Malik Jimah offered me some tips to success.
"My son, if you must succeed in life, appreciate what you've been given, seek more knowledge so you can understand life better and be patient for in patience you'd be able to live through dark times." he concluded.
🖋️ Jeremiah Enaholo A. Kadiri
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